Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
