It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
