i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
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