we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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