glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
