Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
