take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
