my phone cant type all the emotion im having
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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