I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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