Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.