I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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