you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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