I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
