Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
