I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
