he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
