Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
