Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
