dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
