It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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