I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
