i may or may not be watching the land before time
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
