I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
