The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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