if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
