she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Congratulations! We have a period
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