Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
