Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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