Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
