so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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