Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
