More tranny stories later!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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