Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize