tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
