I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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