He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
