Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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