I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
