butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
