you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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