i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
