Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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