1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
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Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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