Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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