Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
