I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
