Kiss
Puke
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
