my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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