doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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