Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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