I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
