I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
