so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
