Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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