just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
