He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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