He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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