DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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