You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
