I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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