I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just tell him i said nine months
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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