Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
