My Higher Power is John Stamos
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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