im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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